Marital Phobia: Spinster Tales

PHOBIA TALES OF A NAIJA SPINSTER

My neighbor had a visitor and whilst passing-by I heard their greetings {I wasn’t doing amebo o!...but what do you expect from a typical tenement building aka face-me-i-face-you…lol}

“ha, long time Papa Calistus , how your wife na?”

“My wife dey, she’s under compulsory 9 months imprisonment… ” and they laughed heartily…

Arrggh!What!!! Don’t tell me that’s a ribcracker!…#eyes rolling#

Sitting at my studio reception with a client, an artiste and a mother of twins (called iyabeji in Yoruba dialect), waiting for her driver just afforded brief moments for some girly chi-chat  #the guys can skip this paragraph…winks#

‘Aaawwh, twins?! That’s so sweet!’ , we echoed & started tapping anointing #touching her#.  Iyabeji laughed. She laughed the kind of laugh that tells you something serious was about coming-forth. “hmmm…twins, they are good o; but its not easy, especially when they are young. They will show you ‘pepper’. You won’t sleep or ever have time for yourself. Times will come when you’ll be breastfeeding both at the same time, pacifying both. You must eat a lot to feed them , cos you’ll be sucked dry....”.

I was deflated, my thought of twins as a born-one-get-one-free birth option punctuated. What’s the fuss about marriage anyway? It’s so scary, the birthing process, the ‘seeming’ slavery to the husband & children, the unending attempts to please ‘the in-laws’….where is the fun 10-90??? Arrrgggh!  

Lord help me!

The End! Yep, I choose to stop here before my knowledge of God’s purpose & bliss of marriage drowns my apparent worries. I expect the married folks to convince me otherwise. I know the guys won’t rest till one of them succeeds in changing my surname but the question I ask is simple, ‘Is Marriage needful?’.

Talk to me!