MONTEÈCLAIRS TRANSFORMATION INITIATIVE

BUCKET LIST Don't hate me but i am absolutely not a fan of Nollywood. I mostly do white movies, why?, because there's always something to learn. A lot more to learn actually , whether in technology, video quality, script writing, casting, innovation, fiction etc. #anyway there are few exceptions from Nollywood especially in recent times# Back to the 'koko' gist of today, "The Bucket List (2007)" ... The main plot follows two terminally ill men in their early fifties from different cadre of the society who (by stroke of coincidence) met   in same hospital room, being treated for advanced Lung cancer. With only less than six months to live, they wrote a wish list which they called, ‘the Bucket List’ ; it was a list of things they planned to do before they " kick the bucket ". . (by the way, the idiom, 'Kick the bucket', means to ‘Die’). They went on a road trip to achieve their ‘Bucket List’ to the extent their strength would allow…

ACCREDITED CHURCH OF GOD My mum, a Pastor, an Educator and Music Minister was in her elements last night writing a song for her coming album; and as ever, everyone in the family had to be involved #or else...lol# Part of the song involved mentioning names of Churches in Nigeria. We tried listing them alphabetically, Assemblies of God, Apostolic Faith, Christ Embassy, Covenant Christian Centre, Daystar Christian Centre...but we were running out of nomenclature. Suddenly my Dad remembered that ‘Mr. Google knows  better’ #i made that up# and so we went online and our findings were  shocking , sad & hilarious.  ‘Hilarious’ , you will soon see why. ‘Shocking & Sad’, Yes! because we saw so many churches, yet so little impact considering the rate of crime, promiscuity and despicable evils prevalent in our great country and even the world at large. We were reminded of the end time by Jesus taught in Matthew 24:4-14. So dear reader, as you roll on the floor in laughter o

ANGELS ON STRIKE Breaking News! #news intro plays# “ Welcome! You are on to Space TV and this is news beyond the solar system and i’m Purity Seth. Report reaching our studio reveals a state of pandemonium ,confusion when Angels at Heaven’s gate threatened to go on strike, after a man refused judgement (with affidavit as  proof  ) stating that he was now 58yrs instead of 68yrs and so will not bear responsibility for the extra 10years...” “Na so i siddon  jejeli (calm & relaxed ) after a powerful church service for owner’s corner inside my friend moto dey hear tori o...’ Frank :-  how far with your football trials na? Jayjay:-   i went to embassy, everything was ready but they said i should change my football age from 21-20 years Frank:-    and have u done it? Jayjay:-    Yes o! Everything will be sorted soon.... My people , as i turn head to look the person (Christian brother) wey suddenly grow younger, i see small small grey hair everywhere...i shoc

God knows i can NEVER marry a policeman (pay me a millions bucks if it happens mistakenly...hehehe). Of course millions of Nigerians share my opinion of not liking the Police, but i’ve recently decided to see them as friends, not just because of their ad-campaigns or that they are humans too, but at least for their efforts in maintaining civil order (Titus 3:1,2, Romans 13:5 ). However, i must add they have played hilarious roles for lots of my spontaneous mischief.  As i strolled to the bus-stop with two of the Nduaguibe’s one fateful evening after youth meeting in church, we encountered a police van parked on Western Avenue, Ojuelegba , with 3 officers (one behind the steering wheel and two on either side of the front doors).Their black uniforms under darkness formed a perfect camouflage in collaboration with their dark truck, as they laid in wait for ‘criminals’ # usually traffic offenders#. As we walked past i hollered, ‘Police!’ , and kept walking with a mischief grin on

 Everybody hates to be kept waiting! Chidi was no exception, he was sick of it. He had sent me an 'epistle' (in the name of chatting) sharing his despair of waiting for a job after graduation...and his case isn't peculiar. Everybody hates to be kept waiting! Okay maybe not 'everybody #making allowance for weird exceptions# , but most 'normal' people hate to be kept waiting particularly when they are not certain of when the wait will be over. I am not quick to judge those 5 foolish virgins (Matthew 25:1-13) who weren't sufficiently prepared for the wait on the bridegroom (there were also virgins). I'm not quick to think i know how 'waiting' people feel, be it 'Waiting Mothers', 'Waiting Singles', 'Waiting Orphans' (awaiting adoption), 'Waiting Contractors' (especially for payment on government related projects), 'Waiting Applicants', 'Waiting Hungered', 'Waiting Patients', 'Waiting

FOUNDER’S SYNDROME David wouldn’t let me be, he kept asking prodding questions seeing the pissed look on my face. Eventually, i had to share my grievance... In retrospect, someone (another friend of mine) had offended me, threw many months of service and commitment back in my face. I was pulled out of an on-going project without-a-word, for sentimental reasons, and what he’d done was pure and simple, utter disrespect #eyes-rolling#  David smiled in understanding, then educated me on the ‘condition’ plaguing my offender, Founders Syndrome. Founder's syndrome, sometimes called founderitis , is a label normally used to refer to a pattern of behavior on the part of the founder(s) of an organization that, over time, becomes maladaptive to the successful accomplishment of the organizational mission. The term is anecdotal/unofficial and does not actually refer to a medical syndrome . It is particularly common where there has been only one person leading the orga

NETWORK CONSPIRACY THEORY Nod your head twice if you’ve ever gotten any of these responses:   ‘ Network Busy’ , ‘Number not Available on    Network’, ‘number you have dialled is not reachable at the moment’, ‘Number does not exist’, ‘communication failure has occurred’, ‘you have insufficient balance’ , ‘you are not allowed to call this number’ ‘...your call has been terminated’   ...not to mention undelivered emails, pings and the wasting prepaid monies to the mobile networks and failed customer care   ...arrrgghhh!$#@^#&%^$R^&...mssstchheeeew ! #i guess your head is already vibrating with many nods...lol# Have i been the only one experiencing this network menace recently?? make no mistake  about it dear  friends, all the networks in Nigeria are culpable. 'Oh my God!', i exclaimed out of frustration yesterday (and short of throwing away my phones and laptop in annoyance).  I simply concluded it could only be a kinda network principality (internet witche

Peter rushed into the studio screaming, feigning an alarmed look, ‘Breaking news: Obama has been kidnapped!!!’, ‘how that wan fit happen na?’, someone said, chuckling. ‘Why not?’, i asked. ‘What’s so special about America sef?’ #mssstcheeeeeew# i hissed. It seemed i had some kind of contempt against America; No way! I appreciate and respect them. However, the Truth was, i was upset. Upset with i saw and heard earlier that day. Upset with the disorientation and lazy minds of ‘some people’. I was upset that some people were also cashing on the ‘lazy minds’ of others. I’m Upset that we ‘all’ want to escape from our responsibilities, our values, our inheritance...doesn’t it mean anything anymore? #earlier in the day#   There they were, at a busy junction with loud speakers and fake ‘oyibo’ accent calling out to people to come apply for America Visa Lottery, so they can live & work in America. Only civility kept me from walking in there (to scatter all their stuff) and asking

TALES BY MOON OKADA RIDES Mennh! I love bike rides (although my father thinks I’m too ‘queenly’ for it, sometimes I guess dangerous is cool...lol) and they make Lagos-traffic-life a little easier to tolerate. They are like ‘divine interventions’ when you’re super late for that meeting and need to get there in Jet-speed; Or when you get to that neighbourhood where your car is not ‘worthy’ (in your interest) to ride upon; or when you have absolutely no clue as per where you’re going (don’t try this with aboki okada riders)… In times like these and more, only an ‘Okada’ can save the day. Ah! I’ve got a lot of Okada stories to tell, but I’ll gist you a ‘teeny-winny’ bit (till you share yours…hehehe). Despite my love for the jolly rides, okada ‘don show me pepper o’. I usually have chit-chats with my riders and on one of those chatty days, some ‘Despicable-okada-memories came to mind like a flash…couldn’t stop laughing even as I gisted the guy carrying me that afternoon. Enjoy

Men are fascinating creatures and I’ve got lots of them (varying breeds) around me (thousands of them I beleive). I’ve been studying them a while now. I admire their courage, dedication to work and family, charisma and their I’ve-got-it-all-under-control-attitude to situations (even when it’s obviously otherwise). It’s amazing how even though their bodies metamorphose, ageing with time, having responsibilities, dependents and expectations increase, THEY EVERLY REMAIN CHILDREN. Please don’t take it the wrong way when I call the ‘men’ ‘boys’, no disrespect intended ; I totally adore your gender, sometimes wishing I was…hehehe. {but thank God I’m not…phew!} Oh!, you don’t believe me. Ok, check this out. Why do men have to get married?  Because someone needs to care for them, wash their clothes, ensure they take their bath, do their home-work (regularly given & marked by their boss at job), cook and ensure they feed, monitor, motivate and duplicate them. The aspect that has caugh

Cold, chesty cough, fever, nausea , cramps…only me! Ah! Lord I called, “can I please (most humbly) have some healing bread? ”. Trust my Jesus, He answered speedily. But that’s not the gist of the moment. As I was munching my bread (divine healing) , one of my friends initiated a chat centered on Asoebi that really set my mind rolling...enjoy!   “…Hilton :- No offence to my yoruba fellows but I got this line from someone's profile message; "#For Instance If there were no owambe, life would have been so boring for the Yorubas. What would have been the meaning of the word Aso-ebi?" Ò luw å B єя yL:- 19 members in this group, no Yoruba...I'm living with Racists in this community …#eyes rolling# Eki:- {makes a face} na u know o @ beryl Hilton :- "owambe" and "asoebi" are two of the most important words in the yoruba vocabulary Eki:- #Smiles# Eki:- To understand how important it is, I'd tell this story. I was in d salon in school and d