TALES BY OKADA RIDES

TALES BY MOON OKADA RIDES

Mennh! I love bike rides (although my father thinks I’m too ‘queenly’ for it, sometimes I guess dangerous is cool...lol) and they make Lagos-traffic-life a little easier to tolerate. They are like ‘divine interventions’ when you’re super late for that meeting and need to get there in Jet-speed; Or when you get to that neighbourhood where your car is not ‘worthy’ (in your interest) to ride upon; or when you have absolutely no clue as per where you’re going (don’t try this with aboki okada riders)… In times like these and more, only an ‘Okada’ can save the day.

Ah! I’ve got a lot of Okada stories to tell, but I’ll gist you a ‘teeny-winny’ bit (till you share yours…hehehe).

Despite my love for the jolly rides, okada ‘don show me pepper o’. I usually have chit-chats with my riders and on one of those chatty days, some ‘Despicable-okada-memories came to mind like a flash…couldn’t stop laughing even as I gisted the guy carrying me that afternoon. Enjoy!

Tale 1: my first week on Industrial Attachment at a top notch real estate firm in Victoria Island….and ‘Oh my God!’ , I exclaimed looking at my watch, it was 5 minutes to 8’o clock and I was still 10minutes away. There was only one thing to do, the only ‘smart/logical’ move…get an Okada ride asap or have my ass kicked. And boy, I sure was ‘smart’ till a mishap.

In 6minutes I was greeted by the receptionist with a smile and then, ‘excuse me!’ She called, ‘your back is …’. You see, it had rained the night before, the road still had murky water and I was wearing a brilliant white shirt. I was still smiling at her until I saw the back of my shirt using the reception’s wall mirror. #arrr@$#%$#^(*%*^&#^&rrrggghhh#, I screamed!!! The damned Okada had no mud flap and my shirt was ruined. It was a nightmare (don’t ask how it ended)

Tale 2: this was a sad experience, happened in 2004, which opened my eyes to the realization that 75% of the aboki’s (our friends from Northern Nigeria) riding bikes are dumb and grossly inexperienced. Their fares were always cheaper. Few actually knew where you were heading but wouldn’t tell,  some couldn’t even communicate effectively in English (why I kept using them? Never mind…let’s just get back to the gist.Phheeew?!!)

So Aboki and I were on our way to Ikoyi from Victoria Island, and just as we descended Falomo Bridge, there came this other Okada (another Aboki) from Awolowo road (on our 9 o’clock). Common sense demanded that one of them will slow down or simply stop for the other to cross the intersection but no! they bumped into each other like two blind mice. Next thing, I was pulled out from under the Okada, my leg badly burnt by the bike’s exhaust pipe.

I was in pain and trust the Nigerian-Samaritans, everyone exclaimed and prescribed a solution, “chei! Her leg don burn…pour akamu…make una break egg on top the wound…no use engine oil…”. Too many voices of pity, I wasn’t ready to be used as a lab rat for some medics-wanna-be’s , so I got up dusted my butt climbed another Okada and disappeared. I won’t bore you how harrowing the next few weeks were but I didn’t quit on okada rides…talk about necessary evil.

Tale 3: some bikers are particularly mischievous especially when carrying girls. They would encourage the girl to sit closer to them and then pretend to accidentally enter a bump or pothole so that her body is thrust against his back (I can imagine the grin of delight on their faces).

So as a mischief-pro myself, I enter such bikes prepared. So at each bumpy turn, my dear okada rider will feel the sharpest part of my bag against his back or the firm feel of my folded arms…hehehe…Checkmate!

On one of such rides, I forgot I had hot Akara (bean balls) in my bag till the Okada man shouted something was burning…lol

God help you if they know you’re not sure of your destination. They would take advantage, charge you twice the amount and take you in circles to justify the pay (taxi drivers are also guilty of this) not to mention those who participate in crime and hideous activities.

Tale x: I thought to myself one day, ‘why do I keep using these bikes despite all the bad things that have happened, & particularly my dad’s good judgment?’…it simply brought to mind our lives as humans, Are there necessary evils we grapple with every day? Or it’s simply a matter of convenience or what’s in vogue or what someone suggested? That abortion, that lie, the flirting, the drinking, drugs, sex (not with your legit husband or wife)…hasn’t it caused enough trouble already? Jesus has a better plan for you.

Roman 6:1, “What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? God Forbid!”

Romans 10:10, “for with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation”...Take a decision, make JESUS your only option no matter what

…and back to my Okada tales, I’ll surely get a car soon. I hope you find JESUS sooner.